Happy Thanksgiving! All day today everyone will be sharing all of their thankful thoughts all over Facebook and Twitter and Instagram. I am glad on this day most people stop a moment in between turkey and pie to look around the table and count their blessings. Let's try and do this more often than just on the holidays.
This year my life has gotten busier than ever. This past year I became a teacher, for real now. I have a classroom full of children I feel responsible for and I take that job very seriously. I have been busting my butt planning and trying to accomplish as much as I can with these kids in the short amount of time I get them. I worry about them almost as if they were my own kids, as most teachers do. We aren't in it for the great pay and the recognition, trust me there is little of both. My friends at school know what I mean. But, we care for those kids and try our best to prepare them for the bumpy road ahead.
At home life has been crazy too. As kids get older, it seems they like to do more stuff. More after school activities, more hanging out with their friends, sleepovers and definitely more school projects. Just when you think they are getting older and more independent they now need you to take them all over town for drop offs, pick ups, go get me more poster board and come watch my performance, get me to my competition and help at my fundraiser. The list goes on and on and there are days I am going straight from 5:30am to 9:00pm and by the end if the day I am lucky I make it to my bed before I fall asleep.
There has become no time for just me most days. Sometimes I try and squeeze in a run or a little time to do my nails. The house is not as clean as it used to be when I was a stay at home mom.
Now that the kids are older you'd think Jody and I could manage more date nights but I am so tired at night it is still rare we can enjoy an evening alone. We are too tired. Who feels like moving when you finally get a moment to sit.
And, Jody is still struggling with his damn trachea. There are times when he cannot see the end in sight and he is frustrated and he wonders if it is all worth it. I wish he could see how Jaden, Jaime and I don't care about this stupid trachea, that we are just glad he is still with us.
Between all of this chaos I call my life I am able to see how lucky I am. There is not a day that goes by that I don't appreciate the chaos and the hard times. I am watching my two kids grow up. I am around to see that happen and I grateful. The moments of Jaime and I driving across town going to cheer practice is not just a chauffering moment, but a memory of us singing her Aristocats audition song again for the millionth time, or her crabbing about someone at school that annoyed her that day. Jaden is still willing to talk to me about his friends at school on his car rides home from band practice. He loves to tell how his band broke into the John Cena theme song or how he is figuring out how to play a new Fallout Boy song on his clarinet (oh had he only stuck with guitar). I hope my little teenager never stops telling me these things, but he migh,t so I enjoy it while he still WANTS to talk to me.
And, Jody almost wasn't here. He may be stuck right now in a place of frustration and he may feel like it can't get any worse than where he is right now, but I remember three years ago and it can be worse. These hard times are nothing compared to not having him around. The thought of not growing old with him around to complain about the crazy neighbor, or to ask me for the millionth time what's for dinner - I don't want to even imagine that. Even when he is driving me crazy, that's okay because at least he is here with me.
It's these everyday moments, good and bad, that make up our lives. The weddings and birthdays and vacations are some of the highlights, yes, but the everyday moments are what make life worth living. I know it is not always easy to appreciate them. Really, I do. I am exhausted a lot of the time and many days Jody can tell you, I am cranky as hell because I didn't get enough sleep or I have so much on my mind that I have to do.
But, these moments with my family are not always going to be here. Every year that goes by we lose people in our lives that were precious to us. You start to see life a lot differently when you realize your days are not infinite. You want to make the most out of every moment when you know that forever isn't that long after all.
And no, I don't obsess over dying, I just keep it in the back of my head that life is short. Life doesn't give you warning when your time is up. So, why not make the most of your time with the people you love while you still have them.
Today when you are around the Thankgiving table enjoy every single moment of it! I know I will!
Happy turkey day!
Hope when you take that jump, you don't fear the fall.
Hope when the water rises, you built a wall.
Hope when the crowd screams out, they're screaming your name.
Hope if everybody runs, you choose to stay.
Hope that you fall in love, and it hurts so bad.
The only way you can know is give it all you have.
And I hope that you don't suffer but take the pain.
Hope when the moment comes, you'll say...
I, I did it all
I, I did it all
I owned every second that this world could give
I saw so many places, the things that I did
With every broken bone, I swear I lived.