How did I get here? I know if you ask Jody he can tell you about some of the ideas I have. Silly ideas like opening my own Hallmark store or maybe a 50's style ice cream shop. My problem with all my ideas is that I am either easily discouraged or I have to depend on others to make the idea work and that can be discouraging. I am not a fighter. I am a go with the flow kind of person. I am not expecting things to be handed to me, but I do tend to take the path of least resistance. But, as I am getting older I am reminded that good things do not ever come easy. As much as it is a lesson I try to teach my kids, I myself am an easy giver upper. I could find a million reasons and excuses as to why I am like that, but whatever the reason - this is who I am. I always have had trouble following through. But, every once in a while I have an idea and it is something I can see and know that I can get there. This has been one of those times.
At the first 5k I ran I had a friend running with me and that was part of my motivation. I ran knowing she was training as well and I wanted to be able to keep up. I didn't want to be the one not to cross the finish line. Trying something and failing hurts a lot more than giving up before you ever start.
But, this time, on this journey, I have no one but myself to get me to the end. I am solo on this run, but that is okay. This really has been a journey, not just the actual running, but mentally getting myself to the point where I know I can do this.
You see running is something that is all on you. There is no one to blame if you don't make to the end. And what about the training? There is no one or nothing to blame if you don't put in the work. There may be outside factors that kept you from running but it all comes down to YOU. When the weather stinks, or your not feeling 100%... When you where supposed to do a long run, did you stop halfway and turn back, or did you keep going? When your whole body was screaming to stop did you convince yourself to carry on? Did you let the excuses stop you or did you find a way to get it done anyway?
I will absolutely admit... I wasn't perfect with my training for this half marathon. I had a good month between Thanksgiving and New Years where I was in a funk and couldn't get myself out on a regular basis. I lost my motivation. I could feel the endurance I had built up slowly slipping away. But, finally I started to read about the Princess race again and I was able to start imagining myself actually doing it. I needed to keep those images in my mind of running down Main Street to keep me motivated. On my darkest days I knew that if I didn't get my butt out there and run, I wouldn't make it when race time came around. There was no one to count on and push me here but me.
With the race just a few days away and with only two training runs left I ran all out today. I did a 12 minute mile for the first time. I might have even run a little better than that but I had Buckwheat with me and there are just so many mailboxes and trees to sniff along the way. But, here I am. I am ready.
So, on Sunday morning when my alarm goes off at 3am and I put on my sneakers... although I will be out there with 26,000 other people, it will be all up to me to get through it. When I'm in pain, or I feel like I can't go on, I will listen to my music and remind myself to "Carry On". When those fireworks at the starting line go off and I head out on this journey I know I will get to the finish. And to all of those other princesses taking this journey on Sunday... we can do this. We are invincible!
This may not be my fastest run, but I'm ok with that. I plan on enjoying every minute of it. This will however, be my longest run. Most of all it will be all mine! And so will that medal!
'Cause we are
We are shining stars.
We are invincible.
We are who we are.
On our darkest day,
When we’re miles away
Sun will come and
We'll find our way home.
If you're lost and alone
Or you're sinking like a stone.
Carry on.
May your past be the sound
Of your feet upon the ground
Carry on.
Carry on.
-Fun.