A big milestone in a girl’s life is losing her virginity. It isn’t something I could have just left out and considering I have been writing about practically everything else I figure I should add this to the list. Some girls take this milestone more seriously than others. Some people are just ready for this step a lot younger than others and some people wait until marriage. I give credit to both decisions because both can be just as hard of a decision. Losing your virginity early on can be something you grow up to regret, forever wondering if you made the right decision, and since most people do not marry their firsts they may wonder if things would have been different had they had waited. Others hold off and save themselves for marriage and may wonder if that decision was best. Were they missing out on something amazing that everyone else was experiencing already? Is it worth the wait? What if they wait and find out once they are married that they should have test drove the car before they bought it. (I always think of Charlotte and her first husband Trey from Sex in the City on that last one.)
I was the girl who waited for a while but not until marriage. I had my first real boyfriend in 10th grade and my next real relationship in 11th grade. In both of these relationships not having sex definitely had an effect on the relationship ending. Now looking back at those two boys I can see why they broke up with me, and I can now say I don’t blame them. I was not willing to give up something that they so desperately wanted and let’s face it – what teenage boy doesn’t? My second boyfriend and I dated for over a year and I still was not giving it up, so although he never told me that was the reason we broke up, I heard it through the grapevine. But, that is ok. I now know it was the right decision, but back then I wasn’t so sure.
I was immature for my age back in high school. I came from a home where I was very sheltered. Maybe that had something to do with it. And, while I had two boyfriends who would have been more than happy to have been my first, I just did not feel I was ready for that step. I guess I should be grateful that I had enough willpower to withstand the pressures of being a teenage girl. And, there were pressures. I can remember one guy giving me the “everyone else is doing it” and “I’m the only one of my friends who hasn’t” lines. But, I waited until I was older. When I finally did I was more ready emotionally to handle it and it all turned out ok.
I look at teenage girls now and see how much more sexualized they are than when I was younger. It scares me because I am raising a little girl. As much as I want to shelter her from this subject for as long as I can, I cannot put her in a bubble. I cannot stick my head in the sand and hope she just waits as long as possible to find the right guy. It’s a big world out there. Kids in today’s world are exposed to a lot and they are learning about sex a lot earlier and earlier. As long as my kids go to school and play with other children they will learn things I am not ready for them to learn. So, Jody I must make sure we are talking to them about this stuff before they learn it from the kid down the block with the older brother or sister.
This is probably one of the scariest parts of being a parent.
So, I was 19 when I finally decided I was ready. I have no regrets, not one. What I hope to pass on to my daughter is that it is ok to wait. There is nothing wrong with it and try not to let raging hormones, your friends or your fear of losing a boy overcome your common sense.
But, in all honesty, when I do have to talk to Jaime about this, at least I can say that my first was her father so maybe that will help.
Gonna give you all my love, boy.
My fear is fading fast.
Been saving it all for you,
‘Cause only love can last.
Like a virgin…
13 days and counting!